Inasmuch as I have kicked around the idea of writing an “end of the year reflective post” for 2011, I have decided instead to share my thoughts on 2012. My thoughts regarding 2012 are born out of the experiences of 2011, but I think it best to avoid vomiting 2011 all over you. 2011 was the single most difficult year of our lives. We experienced the high of bringing our son home and we experienced the low of losing a child through miscarriage. We experienced the high of seeing God’s call to missions begin to play out in our lives and experienced the low of leaving our first church. We have experienced the high of growing together as a married couple but have also experienced the low of realizing that this kind of growth comes through intense pressure, through disappointment, and at times through tears.
We have experienced the joy of rejoicing with family over bringing home a baby and have experienced the sadness over disappointing family by pursuing a future as international missionaries. We have come to know the Lord in a whole new way because of the pants-kicking which was 2011. Even as I write this post, I cringe at the vulnerability of sharing our experiences. We feel burned, we feel hurt, we feel cheated, we feel disappointed, we feel dazed, we feel off-balance, and yet we feel hope. We have realized the promises of God even in the midst of suffering. The hurt is not over. The hurt may never fully be over…and yet through the hurt we have experienced the goodness of God.
Oops…I accidentally talked about 2011. When I look forward to 2012 my prayer is that God continues to “wreck” us and “break” us. My prayer is that we would not become too comfortable, too well off, or too adjusted that we fail to see God working in our midst. The pain, the hurt, and the disappointment of 2011 have led us to the feet of Jesus. Having experienced such a grace as this makes me thankful for our circumstances and for the manner in which God has made Himself known to us. We might not be comfortable and things might not have gone as planned…but our cup runs over with the goodness and mercy of God.
there are worse ways to disappoint family...root for the dallas cowboys, vote independent, take up ultra-marathoning... In the end (and you know this), it's fr better to follow God.
ReplyDeleteI am so blessed by reading this! I believe that choosing to see God's blessings in our lives, in the middle of the storm, is truly winning the battle even before it is over! I'm sorry to hear of the struggles and trials the two of you have gone through, and I praise God for your faithfulness in continuing to to give Him honor and glory! Thank you for opening the window to your heart, and for letting us have a glimpse of what you have been going through.
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